Bah Humbug to Motorized Newspaper Delivery

From 1978-1984, I was a paperboy for the Herald-Telephone. It was an afternoon paper, with the exception of Sunday, which was a morning edition. I had to earn this route, competing against two other boys, by subbing for a year to the regular lad (PG) to prove my worth. The route was around my neighborhood, and consisted of 33 consecutive houses around a suburban block, usually taking about 30-45 minutes, depending on weather. Preparation consisted of counting and folding the papers with a rubber band.

Most days I rode my bike, but would walk in inclement weather. Prep here took longer, as each paper had to be folded inside a plastic bag. Each customer specified where they wanted their paper, tossed on the front porch, tucked inside the screen door, in the mailbox, or down by the garage. Woe be it to the paperboy with an errant throw into the bushes when the target was the front porch!

Once a month, I would go and collect the monthly fees for the HT, clipping out approved receipts and then riding my bike over to the bank, paying the monthly bill to the HT by depositing the cash and checks received from customers. Quite a responsibility for an 8 year old, I assure you, and I was most proud of myself. Each year, when I collected from the paper, I would usually get a Christmas present from each customer, usually $5.00 or sometimes even $10.00. At 33 customers (my parents included), I usually had quite the annual haul.

Today, things are quite different. I take a number of papers, the Sunday NY Times, the Wall Street Journal, the Financial Times, and LW takes the Washington Post. These are morning papers, delivered anonymously in a vehicle by some fellows, at the end of the driveway by the street. I have no idea who these people are, but they have an annoying habit of leaving a self-addressed envelope to themselves inside a form-letter Christmas card.

Am I supposed to throw money in this envelope as a Christmas thank you?! These are not enterprising lads earning a little pocket money, nor saving for a new glove or bat for next season. I realize that newspapers have dwindling subscription lists, and that they are looking for efficiencies in delivery, but I don't know my paper carriers, and that bothers me for some reason. I want my newspapers delivered in person, or on bicycle every day by a kid where I know their names, and I am indeed generous with superior service.

Bah Humbug to motorized paper carriers, you'll get no such cash bonus from me.